Maiden Voyage

Things have so many different meanings. The term "maiden voyage" stems from a ship on its first journey after being built, but when you really think it thru, it's nothing more than a giant sexual innuendo. What happens to the maiden after she has completed her first voyage? She is no maiden anymore. She is now an experienced sea-wench. So I guess what I am trying to convey is that this is my blog's first time having sex with your eyes, so..... be gentle. And remember, if my blog says no, it means NO!   [but really it means yes]

A-Hole In My Head: Possibly just that you need another blog to read like a person needs another hole in their head? [excluding awesome piercings] Or maybe it is a hole, or window, into my head, showing you all the disastrous awesome things that go on in there. Or maybe, just maybe, there's an asshole in my head that really wants to get to the outside world. Or maybe it's all of these things, and more! Maybe if you keep reading, something profound will happen. Possibly the answers to all societal problems lie within. Possibly it's all rubbish. [probably rubbish]

If the answers end up not being to your liking, then you always have the option to indulge in whatever liquor you fancy to effectively "flashy thingy" your memory back to a state in which you never read this blog. Go on, take a Mulligan, you deserve it! We know your brain cannot hold more information than your daily regimen of Reality TV and Pizza Pocket cooking instructions, so you may need to dump these last few minutes. [more for slow readers]

If you wish to carry on, then bravo! We will be discussing such exciting future topics as:

• Penguins, are they really birds, or just well dressed ice monkeys?
• War, what is it good for? [hint: business]
• How cool it will be to be an octogenarian 2062
• The decline of society in relation to the simplification of hats and other things
• What the next fad is going to be after Planking and Owling [my vote is Sporking]
• A Treatise on the expansion of carbon footprinting vs the ability of relevant technology to remain viably sustainable
• Turkeys - why they drown when it rains and how that affects you

Sounds like fun! I can't wait to see what all those are about!

Until next time, I will leave you with this advice:

If you like to read comics or graphic novels, just go read them at the bookstore. Short enough to finish in one sitting without looking like a freeloader. If you don't care about looking like said freeloader, just read whole novels!